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betruemydear

Thoughts from a 23-Year Old

imagine a world

Gaming
man I can't imagine telling myself from a year ago that a derust session first play would be worth 200pp (197 to be exact). Damn Decent acc play. The SV finishes section midway through caught me off guard, but 5 mins in the editor and I was able to SS them in a run lmao what is this acc. 230 is so comfy omg. the 4 misses were on the longest stream in the song, no complaints 140 inner oni warm up. decent acc OMG. After playing this map for like 2 years, finally got a 98% FC on it. Acc still p
2 min read

mou son nan ja dame dame dame

Gaming
Coming up with post names is hard lmao Decent score considering warm up and 220 bpm rhythm chart. what a choke omg. In 5 tries brought my ur from 130 to 119, so that's cool at least what a fucking score omg. Grinded that for like 15 mins. Finally got a 97 after playing this map for months. Woohoo! FC is doable but unlikely (managed to get an fc on the practice diff of the hard section) holy shit what an fc. Decent acc too. I thought the finishes would get me (since I'm really bad at stuff li
1 min read

HAYAKU HAYAKU

Gaming
okat last session ending a little bit weird. It felt like I was getting the rhythm yips or something. I'll be more careful about not pushing myself to far out of my comfort zone for too long (like I grinded practice maps that were way too hard for like 30 mins straight last session) Second try on this map (managed to score v1 myself lmao). Missed on a couple of easy patterns. I think my reading got hella messed up from last session. Decent acc regardless. okay this score isnt that good but ran
3 min read

Magical Girl Speeeeed

Gaming
Session time! DOUSHITE fun little speed score here OMG I WANT THaT SHIT nice score. Had some weird patterns that I hit for the first couple minutes. Also I hit all the 1/6th patterns except for the very last (and hardest) one. Easily my best 1/6th score yet. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- overall practice day. Not much to show, but that's how it some sessions
1 min read

Aug 15th FIERY ACCORDION

Gaming
Gonna try something different today; instead of posting all my scores after the session, I'll work on this post as I play. Anyways: FIERYRAGE ACCORDION FC. What a fucking warmup. Was not expecting to get that lmao I've been trying to get an fc on this map for a long time. Finally got it :D Not bad acc. Could've been 99.5 but I got sloppy in the section right after kiai. huh what what is this score. Why could I read 280 like this huh what. Could not do this consistently for sure, but it's a g
1 min read

Aug 15: weird sess

Gaming
today was a bit over the place. Mostly focused on oni acc and oni speed. here's some 210+ bpm oni plays. The 99 on 217bpm diff was a nice score. Also very happy to get 95 on necro fantasia 230; 4 mins straight of 230 oni gameplay is nothing to scoff at. Don't let the meh acc fool you, this play took like 30 mins to get. The streams->finish patterns have always been a thorn in my side; this chart was no different. However, my practice on those patterns over the past few months and this session
2 min read

Aug 14: I'm playing here

Gaming
This was my warm up chart. Some tricky bpm changes in the beginning, but otherwise decent acc on a 200 bpm oni. Pretty solid speed play. Was able to read most of the patterns, which is good for a chart as dense as this one. Best play of the session. I nearly fced the final kiai section, which had quite a few bursty sections that are tricky for me at this bpm. Decent pattern play.
1 min read

Taiko So Far

Gaming
I've been playing osu!taiko [https://osu.ppy.sh/wiki/en/Game_mode/osu!taiko] on and off for about 3 years now. It's my favorite non-dance rhythm game and I'm still having fun improving in the game. My long term goals are to be a competitive tournament player and FC Galaxy Collapse, but I'm not in any rush to get there. For now, I just like pushing my current abilities and setting cool scores. Over the past year or so I've been posting my session highlights to my gaming twitter [https://twitter.
4 min read

Cadence

Creative
The bass from the speakers vibrates the room and asks if I am more man than machine. I resist the urge to archive the message, since my mentor told me to be open to surreptitious spontaneity. But it's uncomfortable sitting in silence. Or, what would be silence had the dollar store gizmo in the corner of the room not creak like tv static. I begin to notice all the incongruities I usually fold over by assigning myself another ticket at work. Nobody wants to admit they took a wrong turn 5 miles ago
3 min read

Your Name: The Meta-tragedy

Essay
For a long time, I did not understand the appeal of tragedies like 1997's Titanic and Romeo & Juliet. Yeah, it sucks that their love did not last, but sad shit happens all the time. Hundreds of tragedies occur every day, yet here we are still observing ones from years ago. But clearly, there's something to them. Else, these stories would not have lasted in the popular culture. What was I missing? It wasn't that I believed nothing bad should ever happen to the main characters. In fact, I really
6 min read

Visible Radiation

Creative
My parents thought I was crazy when I replaced all the lightbulbs with candles. The candles are a fire-hazard, they said. The bulbs can last up to 10 years plus warranty, but barely a day for a small candle. I never thought I could live in a house designed by repressed dreams, but I have learned that she makes for pleasant conversation over coffee. She said, you don't have to change the walls and the floor yet. Start with the lights, since they change how you view the rest of your life. It sta
2 min read

Virtual and Reality

Essay
The nature of reality has been a contentious subject that has rattled the brains of the greatest philosophers and the drunkest college students. That subject has only been further complicated by the increasing presence of internet-enabled machines in every day life, leading to many people living existences primarily in an online world. Is this online world 'real'? Well, yes and no. What got me thinking about the difference between the online and offline world is a passage by Annie Dillard. The
4 min read